Centered Listening

Most of the successful people I've known are the ones who do more listening than talking.
Bernard M Baruch, American economist & advisor to Presidents

This quote came through my email box this morning and caught my eye. Actually it caused me to heave a big sigh of relief. As an introvert, I am always happy for a justification not to talk.

I have a feeling that Mr. Baruch is referring to what I have come to know as Centered Listening. This is quite different from nodding one’s head as another speaks while either busily ticking off in your mind all the things that you need to do later, or mentally rehearsing the point you want to make in the conversation.

Centered listening means giving your full, undivided attention to the person speaking, treating the person as the most treasured person in your world for that moment. With centered listening, you take in not just the words that they are speaking, but the essence of their message, what it conveys about their feelings and state of mind.

The best way to do this is, of course, to center yourself before the conversation starts. Take a minute to take some deep breaths to calm your mind, relax your body and focus on what you value in your relationship with this person. (Tom Crum’s Three Deep Breaths work great for this – more on that in another post, I promise.) Hint: If you don’t have time to truly listen to the person just then, ask them if you could get together with them later.

Hope that you have the time to enjoy your day today.