Change Your Questions

It started out as an error. I was searching for a book by Marshall Goldsmith and failed to notice that while he had written the introduction for Change Your Questions, Change Your Life Marilee Adams was the author of the book. But, nothing happens without a reason. And, those of you who have following this blog since its inception are aware of my love of good questions. So, it came as no surprise to me when I discovered my error that I had unconsciously chosen a book whose title was a natural for me.

Change Your Questions, Change Your Life is written as a fable. It makes for entertaining reading but, once again, as with Patrick Lencioni’s book which I discussed last week, the teachings are invaluable.

In the opening chapters Marilee writes that ‘the ability to intentionally shift our internal questions puts us in charge of our own thoughts.’ While following a fictitious manager who has been failing miserably in his job and his marriage as he is coached, Marilee teaches her model of asking questions in a simple, straightforward way. At the end she presents the model in its totality so the reader can begin to apply in his or her own life.

One of my favorite parts is a list of Learner vs. Judger Questions. While a judger may ask questions such as “What’s wrong?" “Who’s to blame?” or "How can I protect my turf?” a learner asks questions such as “What works?" "What are the facts?" and "What’s the big picture?" The entire concept of Learner vs Judger complements Tom Crum’s Discovery Model, introduced in The Magic of Conflict. Tom writes about the significance of a shift from ‘having to be right’ into a discovering mode. The two books, Magic of Conflict and Change Your Questions, Change Your Life, together make a great guide.

If you are looking for a quick read this summer whose teachings will apply well past the fall, I encourage you to pick up a copy of Change Your Questions, Change Your Life as well as The Magic of Conflict.

Judy Warner