Leroy Sievers is a journalist with cancer who writes a blog for NPR on his experiences. I have been following it for over a year. Sometimes it brings tears to my eyes, at times it is difficult to read, much of the time it inspires me. Many years ago I had an early stage of cervical cancer so perhaps I feel a bit of a bond with cancer patients as I still remember the fateful phone call and the sleepless nights wondering if I would see my children grow up.
Today Leroy asked his readers to finish the sentence, My cancer..., with how it has changed their life. There were 72 responses when I checked in this morning that reflect a wide ranging experience. But, there is a theme underlying many of them of greater appreciation of life and discovery of inner strength.
I invite you to visit Leroy's blog and read the comments. Oh, and my sentence would read something like 'My cancer taught me to live every moment to the fullest and never forget to express my appreciation and love to people while I can.'
Judy Warner
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Monday, April 28, 2008
Pain in the Neck?
I am not referring to a metaphor but an actual physical pain in the neck. Tightness in the neck and shoulders abounds in our society. A friend of mine, Eri Crum D.C., MPH, recently wrote in the newsletter for his Boise Spine Center about a paper in the Journal of Rheumatology on treating neck disorders. I don’t know about you but I tend to treat a stiff neck with a little heat, maybe some stretches and sometimes an over-the-counter anti-inflamatory. If it really persists I may go to my favorite chiropractor (no, it isn’t Eri as I don’t live in Boise) or perhaps get a massage. Turns out any one of those by itself is unlikely to solve the problem.
Research says that you need to combine modalities to have a real impact. The paper Eri reported on analyzed existing research on neck pain and reported if there was strong, moderate, limited or no evidence of benefit from various modalities including manual therapies, physical medicine methods, medication, and patient education.
In summarizing the results of the paper, Eri reports, First, the only method that revealed “strong evidence” for reducing neck pain, improving neck function, and resulting in favorable global assessment was a multimodal approach combining strengthening/stretching exercises and mobilization/manipulation procedures. Conspicuously absent: medical or pharmaceutical therapies of any kind. The second important point is that most of the “passive” therapies – manipulation alone, massage alone, some forms of medications alone, etc. fell under the category of “evidence of no benefit”.
What this tells us is that it is crucial for patients to take an active role in the healing process, and a combination of mobilization/manipulation techniques must be complemented with exercises and stretches for the best chance of reducing mechanical neck pain.
So, the next time you are looking for relief from a real pain in the neck, consider working with a health care professional and using a 'multi-modal' approach.
Research says that you need to combine modalities to have a real impact. The paper Eri reported on analyzed existing research on neck pain and reported if there was strong, moderate, limited or no evidence of benefit from various modalities including manual therapies, physical medicine methods, medication, and patient education.
In summarizing the results of the paper, Eri reports, First, the only method that revealed “strong evidence” for reducing neck pain, improving neck function, and resulting in favorable global assessment was a multimodal approach combining strengthening/stretching exercises and mobilization/manipulation procedures. Conspicuously absent: medical or pharmaceutical therapies of any kind. The second important point is that most of the “passive” therapies – manipulation alone, massage alone, some forms of medications alone, etc. fell under the category of “evidence of no benefit”.
What this tells us is that it is crucial for patients to take an active role in the healing process, and a combination of mobilization/manipulation techniques must be complemented with exercises and stretches for the best chance of reducing mechanical neck pain.
So, the next time you are looking for relief from a real pain in the neck, consider working with a health care professional and using a 'multi-modal' approach.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Conflict is Opportunity
Tom Crum has a saying that ‘when a thief sees a saint, he sees only his pockets.’ I suspect that once you identify with the basics of Tom’s Magic of Conflict approach that you see it in everything.
The Magic of Conflict approach teaches that conflict is opportunity. One of the myths of conflict is that it is negative. The truth is that it is not the conflict that is negative but how we choose to deal with the conflict that can be positive or negative. A good example is an oyster and a grain of sand. The oyster turns the irritating grain of sand into a pearl.
So, this morning I was reading an article on active.com by Danny Dreyer, author of ChiRunning. The topic of the article was advice for runners when they have a bad run. And, there it was --- the same idea of conflict as opportunity applied to running. Here is what Danny wrote:
To begin with, put this thought into your head: "There is no such thing as a bad run." If things aren't going exactly how you'd like them to go, when you're out on your run, it usually means that you have an opportunity to learn something new. Struggle is the food from which change is made, and the best time to make the most of a struggle is when it's right in front of your face.
Now, I know that might sound a bit simplistic. But, too often we're led to believe that struggling is a bad thing, or that we struggle because we're doing something wrong.
I disagree. I look at struggle as an opportunity to grow. True struggle happens when you can sense what is not working for you and you're willing to take the appropriate action to correct the situation. Those who accomplish change are willing to engage the struggle.
So, here’s a thought. Take that moment today when something does not go the way you had hoped and play a bit with changing your frame of reference. Look for the opportunity, it is there. A few deep breaths, as in Three Deep Breaths, would help a lot in this process. Best of luck! We would love to hear how it goes.
Judy Warner
The Magic of Conflict approach teaches that conflict is opportunity. One of the myths of conflict is that it is negative. The truth is that it is not the conflict that is negative but how we choose to deal with the conflict that can be positive or negative. A good example is an oyster and a grain of sand. The oyster turns the irritating grain of sand into a pearl.
So, this morning I was reading an article on active.com by Danny Dreyer, author of ChiRunning. The topic of the article was advice for runners when they have a bad run. And, there it was --- the same idea of conflict as opportunity applied to running. Here is what Danny wrote:
To begin with, put this thought into your head: "There is no such thing as a bad run." If things aren't going exactly how you'd like them to go, when you're out on your run, it usually means that you have an opportunity to learn something new. Struggle is the food from which change is made, and the best time to make the most of a struggle is when it's right in front of your face.
Now, I know that might sound a bit simplistic. But, too often we're led to believe that struggling is a bad thing, or that we struggle because we're doing something wrong.
I disagree. I look at struggle as an opportunity to grow. True struggle happens when you can sense what is not working for you and you're willing to take the appropriate action to correct the situation. Those who accomplish change are willing to engage the struggle.
So, here’s a thought. Take that moment today when something does not go the way you had hoped and play a bit with changing your frame of reference. Look for the opportunity, it is there. A few deep breaths, as in Three Deep Breaths, would help a lot in this process. Best of luck! We would love to hear how it goes.
Judy Warner
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Centered Self and Personality
"Center is the part of us that remembers we belong to the Universe, the part that feels no need to protect oneself since it is not in opposition."
~ Wendy Palmer
In a recent post (April 13), I mentioned I was traveling to Minneapolis for a course on Visibility with author and aikidoist, Wendy Palmer. I spent a tremendous weekend with Wendy and fourteen other participants practicing and embodying concepts such as center, visibility, intention and receptiveness.
In her teaching, Wendy distinguishes between the Centered Self and the Personality. The Personality's main goals are safety and approval -- it wants to stay safe and look good. The Centered Self is already okay. The Centered Self is enlightened and connected to a higher wisdom.
We practiced being pushed or pulled off center. My partner faced me and held my wrists, then either pushed or pulled. Each time, I reacted by tensing up and pulling or pushing in response. Although I've had many years of aikido and centering practice, I still went into a reactive posture. It was a fantastic learning to watch the Personality kick in on a physical level.
As Wendy put it, "I acknowledge that I'm going to start from my personality -- my resistant, defensive self. And I don't have to stay there."
I notice the reactive posture and center myself, rooting and lengthening my posture, relaxing and extending my ki into my arms and hands, and connecting with heaven and earth -- and my partner. Gradually I find the Centered Self, and I can no longer be pushed or pulled. If the pressure increases, I notice Personality begin to contract and defend. As soon as I notice, I can relax, extend, connect and re-center. As I change my energetic state, I change my perception. Life is more effortless and effective, as Judy Warner said on April 15.
I promise more entries on these topics in the future. In the meantime, you might enjoy reading a new edition of Wendy's book, The Intuitive Body: Discovering the Wisdom of Conscious Embodiment and Aikido.
Good ki!
Judy Ringer
~ Wendy Palmer
In a recent post (April 13), I mentioned I was traveling to Minneapolis for a course on Visibility with author and aikidoist, Wendy Palmer. I spent a tremendous weekend with Wendy and fourteen other participants practicing and embodying concepts such as center, visibility, intention and receptiveness.
In her teaching, Wendy distinguishes between the Centered Self and the Personality. The Personality's main goals are safety and approval -- it wants to stay safe and look good. The Centered Self is already okay. The Centered Self is enlightened and connected to a higher wisdom.
We practiced being pushed or pulled off center. My partner faced me and held my wrists, then either pushed or pulled. Each time, I reacted by tensing up and pulling or pushing in response. Although I've had many years of aikido and centering practice, I still went into a reactive posture. It was a fantastic learning to watch the Personality kick in on a physical level.
As Wendy put it, "I acknowledge that I'm going to start from my personality -- my resistant, defensive self. And I don't have to stay there."
I notice the reactive posture and center myself, rooting and lengthening my posture, relaxing and extending my ki into my arms and hands, and connecting with heaven and earth -- and my partner. Gradually I find the Centered Self, and I can no longer be pushed or pulled. If the pressure increases, I notice Personality begin to contract and defend. As soon as I notice, I can relax, extend, connect and re-center. As I change my energetic state, I change my perception. Life is more effortless and effective, as Judy Warner said on April 15.
I promise more entries on these topics in the future. In the meantime, you might enjoy reading a new edition of Wendy's book, The Intuitive Body: Discovering the Wisdom of Conscious Embodiment and Aikido.
Good ki!
Judy Ringer
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Thanks to a Champion
A person never knows the impact that they are having on others. Well, sometimes they may have a clue of the possibility but never know for sure. In 1984, Joan Benoit Samuelson won the first ever Women’s Olympic Marathon. She did it handily, maintaining the lead for much of the race.
At the time I was a runner with two young children and a part time job. I had no idea of the way my life was going to unfold in the ensuing years as I met Tom Crum and became involved with aikido and mind/body work.
I do remember watching Joan, in her silver running outfit, outpacing the rest of the women and running alone, one step at a time, to a most wonderful victory in front of a ‘home-nation-packed’ stadium in Los Angeles. I think that my five-year-old daughter sat with me, at least part of the time, as I watched, tears streaming down my cheeks, as Joan ran into the history books.
I never forgot her strength and determination. It kept me going many times in the past 24 years when I had to reach deep inside myself to tap my own inner strength. I never forgot her steady, determined figure.
Last fall my daughter qualified to run the 2008 Boston Marathon and we immediately made plans to go watch her run. As the plot unfolded, I learned the Women’s Olympic Trials were to be held the day before in Boston and Joan would be running her last competitive marathon. Runner’s World magazine ran a story on Joan and the good compassionate life she had lived in her home state of Maine since that 1984 Olympics. I realized I had the opportunity to see this woman, who had symbolized strength and bravery and determination for me for all these years, as she ran her last marathon and, in my own way, stand in tribute and thanks to the inspiration she had given me as a gift so many years before.
So, today I stood on the sidelines as this dear woman with a neon gold hat ran her last competitive marathon. I knew her immediately. She is 50 now, her hair a little grey, and she no longer leads the pack. But there she was with the same recognizable gait I had watched for all those miles in 1984 and that same determination.
The crowd cheered for all the 160 plus women who had qualified for today’s trials. They had all run under 3 hour marathons and were each truly a champion and inspiration. They cheered for the leaders, the top three of whom will represent us in the Olympic marathon in China this summer. But, I was not the only one who later said, that there were times when the roar of the crowd was greatest when that small, slightly grey, woman with the gold hat ran by.
Joan said later the support along the course was unbelieveable. She had hoped for an under three hour finish. She set a record for the 50-54 age group with a 2:49 finish. She ran into the record books once more and those of us in the crowd were able to say thanks for the gift of inspiration she gave us so many years ago and upheld all these years.
Thank you, Joan.
Judy Warner
At the time I was a runner with two young children and a part time job. I had no idea of the way my life was going to unfold in the ensuing years as I met Tom Crum and became involved with aikido and mind/body work.
I do remember watching Joan, in her silver running outfit, outpacing the rest of the women and running alone, one step at a time, to a most wonderful victory in front of a ‘home-nation-packed’ stadium in Los Angeles. I think that my five-year-old daughter sat with me, at least part of the time, as I watched, tears streaming down my cheeks, as Joan ran into the history books.
I never forgot her strength and determination. It kept me going many times in the past 24 years when I had to reach deep inside myself to tap my own inner strength. I never forgot her steady, determined figure.
Last fall my daughter qualified to run the 2008 Boston Marathon and we immediately made plans to go watch her run. As the plot unfolded, I learned the Women’s Olympic Trials were to be held the day before in Boston and Joan would be running her last competitive marathon. Runner’s World magazine ran a story on Joan and the good compassionate life she had lived in her home state of Maine since that 1984 Olympics. I realized I had the opportunity to see this woman, who had symbolized strength and bravery and determination for me for all these years, as she ran her last marathon and, in my own way, stand in tribute and thanks to the inspiration she had given me as a gift so many years before.
So, today I stood on the sidelines as this dear woman with a neon gold hat ran her last competitive marathon. I knew her immediately. She is 50 now, her hair a little grey, and she no longer leads the pack. But there she was with the same recognizable gait I had watched for all those miles in 1984 and that same determination.
The crowd cheered for all the 160 plus women who had qualified for today’s trials. They had all run under 3 hour marathons and were each truly a champion and inspiration. They cheered for the leaders, the top three of whom will represent us in the Olympic marathon in China this summer. But, I was not the only one who later said, that there were times when the roar of the crowd was greatest when that small, slightly grey, woman with the gold hat ran by.
Joan said later the support along the course was unbelieveable. She had hoped for an under three hour finish. She set a record for the 50-54 age group with a 2:49 finish. She ran into the record books once more and those of us in the crowd were able to say thanks for the gift of inspiration she gave us so many years ago and upheld all these years.
Thank you, Joan.
Judy Warner
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Exploring Distinctions
In February, I wrote a post (A Gentle Evolution) on a weapons session in our dojo and the progression in skill as students practiced. When I was reading Zen Body-Being (see previous entry), I found a description of sword practice that sheds some more light on this process.
I pick up a practice sword and randomly start moving it around the room. At first I may be controlling the sword too much, inflicting my will, using excessive strength. As I work with it, I begin to let it float and ‘have its own way.’ I become more receptive to the arc of its present movement, and to feedback regarding the most natural and effortless path I need to take to change its motion. This comes from letting the sword ‘have a say,’ listening to it, surrendering to it. As I begin to serve more than dominate, giving my energy to the sword rather than pushing the sword around, a shift in state takes place. I become much more receptive, open, present, and in-tune with the object, helping me step outside of my own ego.
Goals of aikido practice include increased awareness and sensitivity to both our partners and our ‘tools’ that we hold in our hands (tonto – wooden knife, boken – wooden sword, jo – wooden stick). This awareness happens, of course, as we become more centered and grounded in our movements. The increased awareness and sensitivity allows us to explore new dimensions in our practice, to distinguish portions of our technique that we were oblivious to before. This is one of the reasons why aikidoka continue to explore the same technique for years. It is never the same twice as we are continually developing our mind/body state and our awareness.
And, of course, the same concepts apply off-the-mat to our relationships. As our mind/body state of centeredness deepens, our awareness and sensitivity within our relationships heightens. There are always new facets of the relationship to explore and enjoy.
May you treasure and enjoy many years of exploration in your relationships!
Judy Warner
I pick up a practice sword and randomly start moving it around the room. At first I may be controlling the sword too much, inflicting my will, using excessive strength. As I work with it, I begin to let it float and ‘have its own way.’ I become more receptive to the arc of its present movement, and to feedback regarding the most natural and effortless path I need to take to change its motion. This comes from letting the sword ‘have a say,’ listening to it, surrendering to it. As I begin to serve more than dominate, giving my energy to the sword rather than pushing the sword around, a shift in state takes place. I become much more receptive, open, present, and in-tune with the object, helping me step outside of my own ego.
Goals of aikido practice include increased awareness and sensitivity to both our partners and our ‘tools’ that we hold in our hands (tonto – wooden knife, boken – wooden sword, jo – wooden stick). This awareness happens, of course, as we become more centered and grounded in our movements. The increased awareness and sensitivity allows us to explore new dimensions in our practice, to distinguish portions of our technique that we were oblivious to before. This is one of the reasons why aikidoka continue to explore the same technique for years. It is never the same twice as we are continually developing our mind/body state and our awareness.
And, of course, the same concepts apply off-the-mat to our relationships. As our mind/body state of centeredness deepens, our awareness and sensitivity within our relationships heightens. There are always new facets of the relationship to explore and enjoy.
May you treasure and enjoy many years of exploration in your relationships!
Judy Warner
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Distinguishing Center
For over twenty years, I’ve worked with Tom Crum (Magic of Conflict, Three Deep Breaths) as he has taught the art of centering to thousands of people. I look upon centering as a core skill for living life to its fullest. So, it was a real delight to have one of my aikido students share a book with me that totally related to the work I have been so involved with.
The book is Zen Body Being
by Peter Ralston. Peter is a martial artist who had developed his own model for mind/body coordination based upon his extensive years of training in varied arts. The book offers many ideas that I could write upon (and am sure I will in the coming weeks). However it is always good to begin with basics.
Peter offers “Five Principles for an Effortlessly Effective Body:”
Peter emphasizes possessing this mind/body state to achieve results with what my Aikido Sensei calls ‘Minimum Effort, Maximum Effect’ and Tom Crum often says is “Minimum Effort, Maximum Joy.” All three acknowledge the potential power of this mind/body state and the importance of that state is to quality of life.
I trust as this blog continues that Judy R., Ellen and myself will continue to be able to offer you hints and stories that inspire you to strive for a centered life.
Judy Warner
The book is Zen Body Being
by Peter Ralston. Peter is a martial artist who had developed his own model for mind/body coordination based upon his extensive years of training in varied arts. The book offers many ideas that I could write upon (and am sure I will in the coming weeks). However it is always good to begin with basics.Peter offers “Five Principles for an Effortlessly Effective Body:”
- Relaxing
- Feeling the Whole Body
- Moving from the Center
- Being Grounded
- Being Calm
Peter emphasizes possessing this mind/body state to achieve results with what my Aikido Sensei calls ‘Minimum Effort, Maximum Effect’ and Tom Crum often says is “Minimum Effort, Maximum Joy.” All three acknowledge the potential power of this mind/body state and the importance of that state is to quality of life.
I trust as this blog continues that Judy R., Ellen and myself will continue to be able to offer you hints and stories that inspire you to strive for a centered life.
Judy Warner
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Improving Your Visibility
On Thursday, I travel to St. Paul, Minnesota for a workshop by Wendy Palmer. Wendy is a sixth degree black belt in aikido and teaches aikido in Sausalito, California. She's written many books using aikido principles to help people become more conscious, confident, and compassionate. She describes her theme for this year as Visibility -- allowing ourselves to be seen. What a concept!
In a recent newsletter, Wendy wrote, "Our ability to influence situations and direct our intention is a function of presence and focus. Presence is the embodied feeling of aliveness that radiates out into the world ... The capacity to maintain the extension of one's field of presence is affected by self-consciousness or concern about visibility."
This quotation makes me think about how much energy I sometimes put into hiding my true self, my light. Tom Crum has said that we spend so much time worrying about the "lampshade," when it's really the light that people want to see. When that light shines brightly, who cares about the lampshade?
In anticipation of this weekend's workshop, I'm already beginning to notice the times I disclaim myself, contract my ki, or otherwise hide behind walls of fear or self-judgment. My inner critic -- the one that says "nope, not good enough" -- is ever present.
How visible are you? Notice how you spend your valuable ki -- shining or hiding? Probably both. Can you choose to extend and shine, when you want to hide? What might happen?
I'll follow up next week with more on my experience in St. Paul. In the meantime, you can visit Wendy's website below. Good ki!
Judy Ringer
Wendy Palmer's website is: http://consciousembodiment.com/
In a recent newsletter, Wendy wrote, "Our ability to influence situations and direct our intention is a function of presence and focus. Presence is the embodied feeling of aliveness that radiates out into the world ... The capacity to maintain the extension of one's field of presence is affected by self-consciousness or concern about visibility."
This quotation makes me think about how much energy I sometimes put into hiding my true self, my light. Tom Crum has said that we spend so much time worrying about the "lampshade," when it's really the light that people want to see. When that light shines brightly, who cares about the lampshade?
In anticipation of this weekend's workshop, I'm already beginning to notice the times I disclaim myself, contract my ki, or otherwise hide behind walls of fear or self-judgment. My inner critic -- the one that says "nope, not good enough" -- is ever present.
How visible are you? Notice how you spend your valuable ki -- shining or hiding? Probably both. Can you choose to extend and shine, when you want to hide? What might happen?
I'll follow up next week with more on my experience in St. Paul. In the meantime, you can visit Wendy's website below. Good ki!
Judy Ringer
Wendy Palmer's website is: http://consciousembodiment.com/
Friday, April 11, 2008
Brain Work
A friend sent me an article from Newsweek on multi-tasking. Why me? I guess I have a reputation for working on more than one project at once. The article by Herbert Wray suggested that if we don’t nurture our brains, we may not have the ability to make rational decisions.
And how do we nurture our brains? Well, an experiment tested whether people were more or less likely to make a poor decisions depending upon whether or not they had supplied their brain with enough fuel.
To begin, all subjects ‘exhausted’ their mental faculties with a set exercise. Some subject were then allowed to refuel themselves while others were not. The fuel in the study was sugar. Researchers found that those who were ‘re-energized’ were able to make better decisions than those who were not.
That in and of itself is an interesting result. I had not thought of ‘feeding’ my brain when I am using it a lot. Perhaps all that snacking in the libraries back in the days of studying for exams was actually helping me study.
What relates more to the topic of multi-tasking is the task that all the subjects had to complete. It involved using their brain for more than one process at a time. Specifically, subjects had to watch a silent video of a woman talking. A series of words flashed across the screen, but subjects were told to ignore the words; if they found themselves distracted by the words, they were to refocus their attention on the woman. This is actually a difficult task. It requires a lot of mental effort to not read the words right in front of you. Perhaps akin to focusing upon one subject while another task that you need to do is staring you in the face.
Viewing the video and ignoring the words mentally exhausted the subjects. Now that is the message for multi-taskers – their multi-tasking is hard work for their brains. Those who did not stop and re-energize their brains were less able to make rational decisions.
So, the next time that you find yourself balancing too many balls at once, remember the value of taking a break, particularly before making a critical decision.
Judy Warner
And how do we nurture our brains? Well, an experiment tested whether people were more or less likely to make a poor decisions depending upon whether or not they had supplied their brain with enough fuel.
To begin, all subjects ‘exhausted’ their mental faculties with a set exercise. Some subject were then allowed to refuel themselves while others were not. The fuel in the study was sugar. Researchers found that those who were ‘re-energized’ were able to make better decisions than those who were not.
That in and of itself is an interesting result. I had not thought of ‘feeding’ my brain when I am using it a lot. Perhaps all that snacking in the libraries back in the days of studying for exams was actually helping me study.
What relates more to the topic of multi-tasking is the task that all the subjects had to complete. It involved using their brain for more than one process at a time. Specifically, subjects had to watch a silent video of a woman talking. A series of words flashed across the screen, but subjects were told to ignore the words; if they found themselves distracted by the words, they were to refocus their attention on the woman. This is actually a difficult task. It requires a lot of mental effort to not read the words right in front of you. Perhaps akin to focusing upon one subject while another task that you need to do is staring you in the face.
Viewing the video and ignoring the words mentally exhausted the subjects. Now that is the message for multi-taskers – their multi-tasking is hard work for their brains. Those who did not stop and re-energize their brains were less able to make rational decisions.
So, the next time that you find yourself balancing too many balls at once, remember the value of taking a break, particularly before making a critical decision.
Judy Warner
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Cooling My Hot Buttons
I needed to stop and breathe about a thousand times yesterday what with customer service and tech glitches – my favorite hot buttons. It all began when I took my car in to be serviced first thing in the morning and learned the service rep had forgotten I needed a ride home. I had scheduled myself tightly, had all my ducks in a row (I thought), and did not allow for a thirty minute delay, which is what the service rep's forgetfulness cost me. Ach!
When I finally got home, I learned that the service provider for my email newsletter had experienced a technical glitch that deleted some long-time subscribers. Ach! Ach!
I know these two hot buttons intimately. Whenever I don't receive the service I think I should or when technology doesn't work the way I think it's supposed to, I get hooked. You might think I'd learn to be on the alert, center myself really fast, and not take the bait. But no. I guess that's why they call them hot buttons. Face red, muscles tight, arms flying into the air, blind to what is possible. It's good to know you're human.
The martial arts offer an excellent arena to practice being under attack. Specifically, aikido teaches us to manage an attack by managing ourselves. Instead of resisting the attacker, we center, connect with the attacker, and redirect the attack energy toward a positive outcome.
Yesterday, it seemed, the attackers were coming from all directions.
You'll be happy to know I found my way back to center. It took a bit of time and a few other self-management skills, like perspective taking (what else was going on for the auto service rep that morning?), appreciating the moment (how nice to have thirty minutes to read while waiting for my ride – I'm glad I thought to bring along that book), self-awareness (deciding not to sweat the small stuff), and gratitude (for the bigger stuff, like the health and well being of myself and those I love).
It's not what happens to us that determines who we are, it's what we do with what happens to us. Maybe next time I'll remember sooner!
Judy Ringer
When I finally got home, I learned that the service provider for my email newsletter had experienced a technical glitch that deleted some long-time subscribers. Ach! Ach!
I know these two hot buttons intimately. Whenever I don't receive the service I think I should or when technology doesn't work the way I think it's supposed to, I get hooked. You might think I'd learn to be on the alert, center myself really fast, and not take the bait. But no. I guess that's why they call them hot buttons. Face red, muscles tight, arms flying into the air, blind to what is possible. It's good to know you're human.
The martial arts offer an excellent arena to practice being under attack. Specifically, aikido teaches us to manage an attack by managing ourselves. Instead of resisting the attacker, we center, connect with the attacker, and redirect the attack energy toward a positive outcome.
Yesterday, it seemed, the attackers were coming from all directions.
You'll be happy to know I found my way back to center. It took a bit of time and a few other self-management skills, like perspective taking (what else was going on for the auto service rep that morning?), appreciating the moment (how nice to have thirty minutes to read while waiting for my ride – I'm glad I thought to bring along that book), self-awareness (deciding not to sweat the small stuff), and gratitude (for the bigger stuff, like the health and well being of myself and those I love).
It's not what happens to us that determines who we are, it's what we do with what happens to us. Maybe next time I'll remember sooner!
Judy Ringer
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Closure versus Transcendence
I caught part of an interview on NPR the other day. The discussants were commenting on the word ‘closure.’ It was suggested that a better word is transcend. One of speakers felt that a person never really experiences closure after a tragic occurrence but rather learns to transcend the event and move on with life.
There was a certain synchronicity for me with this thought. Closure suggests finality, being done with something. And, I agree that closure as so defined is indeed difficult to attain.
For myself, I can think of 9/11 as an example. Having grown up near the World Trade Center site with parents heavily involved in the financial district of Manhattan, the destruction of the WTC on 9/11 affected me deeply. As I look at my own healing process over the years since then, closure is not a word that readily pops into my mind. But transcendence does work for me. The pain of the tragedy is as real to me today as it was on the day it happened. But, my ability to breathe through my pain and use the energy of my pain to move forward in my own life to achieve positive results has become easier over the years. I look upon this as transcendence.
The art of aikido calls for a positive mind. I am in many ways the eternal optimist. I look for the good in everything, choosing to see the cup as half full rather than half empty. Transcending tragedy resonates in the same way with me as seeking the positive. It asks us to embrace our sorrows but to step forward on a path towards our deepest visions.
Judy Warner
There was a certain synchronicity for me with this thought. Closure suggests finality, being done with something. And, I agree that closure as so defined is indeed difficult to attain.
For myself, I can think of 9/11 as an example. Having grown up near the World Trade Center site with parents heavily involved in the financial district of Manhattan, the destruction of the WTC on 9/11 affected me deeply. As I look at my own healing process over the years since then, closure is not a word that readily pops into my mind. But transcendence does work for me. The pain of the tragedy is as real to me today as it was on the day it happened. But, my ability to breathe through my pain and use the energy of my pain to move forward in my own life to achieve positive results has become easier over the years. I look upon this as transcendence.
The art of aikido calls for a positive mind. I am in many ways the eternal optimist. I look for the good in everything, choosing to see the cup as half full rather than half empty. Transcending tragedy resonates in the same way with me as seeking the positive. It asks us to embrace our sorrows but to step forward on a path towards our deepest visions.
Judy Warner
Friday, April 4, 2008
A Study in Adjustment
Pebbles, one of our cats, lost her eyesight a few weeks ago, apparently due to high blood pressure. She is our ‘senior’ cat and will be sixteen in August.
The first day she walked into a couple of walls. Our other three cats started acting a bit strangely around her. They knew something was wrong as she constantly violated their personal space, the boundaries of which were apparently fairly visual among our cats.
By the second day, there was less wall banging and she seemed to be honing her other senses to pick up the other cats before she got ‘too’ close to them. They also were more tolerant.
By the third day, she figured out how to negotiate from her favorite chair to her cat box to her food without too much of a problem. Occasionally she missed a doorway by a few inches and couldn’t understand why she couldn’t find her cat box, not realizing she was in the correct corner but the wrong room.
By the end of the first week, Pebbles was venturing outside. Under careful supervision, she began to feel, smell, sense her way around our yard. Slowly she learned to recognize a way back to the door to be let in.
Over the next week, there were times when I wondered if she had suddenly regained her sight for her movements were so graceful. Of course, there were moments of frustration. If picked up and transported back to her chair for one reason or another, she was not above carrying on a discourse in low meows that I could imagine being along the lines of why we had turned all the lights out in the world.
These days Pebbles goes outside and I assume is gradually expanding her comfort level for taking a morning walk. She finds her way around and knows to wait in the garage in her favorite bed if we are not available to open the door for her. There still are occasional moments of frustration but she appears to be making a transition to this obvious disruption to her life.
Pebbles is a constant reminder for me that change happens. And, it is up to us to center, breathe, learn, and explore as we deal with change in our own lives. Hmmm. I wonder if Pebbles knows about centering?
Judy Warner
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
It’s a Matter of Touch
A few weeks ago we had an introductory shiatsu class taught in our dojo by one of our black belts. A number of students and friends attended. The instructor covered massage for the neck and shoulder areas and demonstrated both self-massage and massage with a partner. In the course of that class I was reminded of the value and power of simple touch.
None of what we learned was very complicated – it was very user-friendly and do-able whether or not the person knew aikido or had much mind/body training. The shift in the energy in the room as we practiced was profound. We all became quieter, more relaxed, and more focused upon our actions.
After that class, I surfed the web a bit and found a couple of books on self-massage. The one that I liked best was Healing Self-massage by Kristine Kaoverii Weber. It includes over 100 simple techniques that you can do to yourself. Kristine is eclectic and borrows from Swedish massage, reflexology and acupressure so there are a range of options for any problem area (i.e. tight shoulders, headache). She also lays out a general ‘tune-up’ routine for your body that you can do daily to keep yourself healthy.
I am sure that the more mind/body training you have and the more centered you are, the more powerful will be the results of any of the exercises. Taking the time to first do some meditation and breathing will increase your sensitivity to your body. But there is a basic message in all this that I would phrase as ‘something is better than nothing.’ Simply following the directions in the book and massaging your own arms, legs, head, neck and shoulders can have astounding results.
The question then becomes whether we are willing to take the time to take care of ourselves. That’s a great question and the answer is pretty revealing. We all know that it is a symptom of today’s society to cram as much in as possible to every waking moment. Unfortunately, what tends to get crammed in is not as likely to be more meditation, more centering, more relaxation and more attention to our mind/body needs. Typically those that need to read a book like Three Deep Breaths (Thomas Crum) are exactly those people who do not have the time for that sort of thing. We have all either known or heard about someone who lived exactly the sort of life I am describing until that fateful day when something catastrophic happened to them or a loved one. And, then they changed and began to take time to ‘smell the flowers.’
Self-massage is one of those things that we all can easily do. And, it can impact upon our quality of life immediately. So, I encourage you to take the time to explore and discover what a few minutes of attention to those tense, tired muscles can do to the quality of your day!
Judy Warner
None of what we learned was very complicated – it was very user-friendly and do-able whether or not the person knew aikido or had much mind/body training. The shift in the energy in the room as we practiced was profound. We all became quieter, more relaxed, and more focused upon our actions.
After that class, I surfed the web a bit and found a couple of books on self-massage. The one that I liked best was Healing Self-massage by Kristine Kaoverii Weber. It includes over 100 simple techniques that you can do to yourself. Kristine is eclectic and borrows from Swedish massage, reflexology and acupressure so there are a range of options for any problem area (i.e. tight shoulders, headache). She also lays out a general ‘tune-up’ routine for your body that you can do daily to keep yourself healthy.
I am sure that the more mind/body training you have and the more centered you are, the more powerful will be the results of any of the exercises. Taking the time to first do some meditation and breathing will increase your sensitivity to your body. But there is a basic message in all this that I would phrase as ‘something is better than nothing.’ Simply following the directions in the book and massaging your own arms, legs, head, neck and shoulders can have astounding results.
The question then becomes whether we are willing to take the time to take care of ourselves. That’s a great question and the answer is pretty revealing. We all know that it is a symptom of today’s society to cram as much in as possible to every waking moment. Unfortunately, what tends to get crammed in is not as likely to be more meditation, more centering, more relaxation and more attention to our mind/body needs. Typically those that need to read a book like Three Deep Breaths (Thomas Crum) are exactly those people who do not have the time for that sort of thing. We have all either known or heard about someone who lived exactly the sort of life I am describing until that fateful day when something catastrophic happened to them or a loved one. And, then they changed and began to take time to ‘smell the flowers.’
Self-massage is one of those things that we all can easily do. And, it can impact upon our quality of life immediately. So, I encourage you to take the time to explore and discover what a few minutes of attention to those tense, tired muscles can do to the quality of your day!
Judy Warner
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