The day after Thanksgiving, traditionally a big shopping day in the US, the roads were packed with cars in my hometown. When I did get to my destination, people were charging about as though there were only minutes left for holiday shopping.
I realized it was all too easy to get sucked into the frantic mindset that results in these types of situations. So, I composed my own Survival Guide for the holiday season, with an intention to do my part to spread some joy and good will.
1. While driving in heavy traffic, yield to the car waiting to enter from a side street or parking lot.
2. As you enter a store, hold the door for the person behind you.
3. When purchasing anything, say something cheerful to the cashier.
4. Carry one of those expandable shopping bags in your purse for your purchases.
5. In a parking lot, when there is one space in the row and a car approaching from the opposite direction, smile and offer them the parking space.
6. While waiting in line, practice Three Deep Breaths.
7. Center yourself before you start your car.
8. When walking in a crowd, consciously keep a smile on your face as you make eye contact with people approaching you.
9. When you become aware you are rushing through the day, walk more slowly.
10. Have a CD or tape of inspirational stories or holiday music to listen to while driving or commuting on rapid transit.
Have a great holiday season!
Judy W.
Saturday, November 29, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Words to the soul
A few months ago a group of Tibetan monks came through Paonia. They were raising funds for the hospital that they maintained in India, and part of the fundraiser was a film called the “Dalai Lama Renaissance”. It was about a group of western thinkers who went to meet with the Dalai Lama, to find some alignment with him around the best course of action to take to bring about positive change in the world. I found the film to be alternately fascinating, annoying and profound…my stuff, too, dancing across the screen.
But the moment that has stayed with me was when one woman was talking about how she experienced the Dalai Lama listening to her. My friend and cohort Tom Crum has often talked about that experience for him, when he had a chance to be with his Holiness. He said he felt like the Dalai Lama was his long lost grandfather, totally welcoming, accepting and embracing him, that he had a quality of being when he was listening that was totally present with those in his company. Then when they were on stage together, his Holiness viewed the audience before him as a field of precious flowers, not to be missed, drinking them in.
What the woman in the movie said was that she felt like her words went directly into the Dalai Lama’s soul. She said she had never felt so thoroughly heard.
I’ve been trying to remember that when I’m listening to someone, especially if I find myself getting antsy or impatient. I try to open my heart and soul and let the words in, and be with the person behind the words, heart to heart and soul to soul. It’s a wonderful experience when it happens—so simple, so effortless because there is no need for defense or judgment…just being together, being connected, finding center and compassion. As simple as words to the soul.
But the moment that has stayed with me was when one woman was talking about how she experienced the Dalai Lama listening to her. My friend and cohort Tom Crum has often talked about that experience for him, when he had a chance to be with his Holiness. He said he felt like the Dalai Lama was his long lost grandfather, totally welcoming, accepting and embracing him, that he had a quality of being when he was listening that was totally present with those in his company. Then when they were on stage together, his Holiness viewed the audience before him as a field of precious flowers, not to be missed, drinking them in.
What the woman in the movie said was that she felt like her words went directly into the Dalai Lama’s soul. She said she had never felt so thoroughly heard.
I’ve been trying to remember that when I’m listening to someone, especially if I find myself getting antsy or impatient. I try to open my heart and soul and let the words in, and be with the person behind the words, heart to heart and soul to soul. It’s a wonderful experience when it happens—so simple, so effortless because there is no need for defense or judgment…just being together, being connected, finding center and compassion. As simple as words to the soul.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Support from Space
The History Channel began a new series, Einstein, this week. During the first episode there was a good deal of discussion of gravity and gravitational pull. Einstein disputed Newton’s idea of gravitational pull. In his celebrated writings on relativity, Einstein suggested that it is space that pushes us to the earth, rather than gravity pulling us to earth.
The idea fascinated me. Often in teaching aikido and in my Magic of Stretching sessions, I see my students holding themselves in a position. Holding a position requires effort and tension. It can also isolate us from our surroundings as our focus is upon ourselves rather than how we relate to the world around us. For instance, the swimmer in Judy’s earlier post – oblivious to everyone and everything.
Can you remember an instance when you have been in such a disconnected, distracted state? What were the ramifications?
When I see my students holding themselves in place, I have always asked them to let go, to allow their bodies to settle – to let gravity do its work. Now I see the possibility of a new metaphor – letting the space surrounding each of us give us support.
Give this a try. Take a few deep centering breaths and allow your body to naturally realign. Now, become more aware of the space surrounding you. Visualize its gentle support. Begin to walk slowly and as you move imagine that space is nurturing and supporting your every moment. Your awareness of and connection to your surroundings will heighten as you visualize this support. And, this heightened perception sets just the right stage for reframing thoughts and relationships into a positive mode as well.
Judy Warner
The idea fascinated me. Often in teaching aikido and in my Magic of Stretching sessions, I see my students holding themselves in a position. Holding a position requires effort and tension. It can also isolate us from our surroundings as our focus is upon ourselves rather than how we relate to the world around us. For instance, the swimmer in Judy’s earlier post – oblivious to everyone and everything.
Can you remember an instance when you have been in such a disconnected, distracted state? What were the ramifications?
When I see my students holding themselves in place, I have always asked them to let go, to allow their bodies to settle – to let gravity do its work. Now I see the possibility of a new metaphor – letting the space surrounding each of us give us support.
Give this a try. Take a few deep centering breaths and allow your body to naturally realign. Now, become more aware of the space surrounding you. Visualize its gentle support. Begin to walk slowly and as you move imagine that space is nurturing and supporting your every moment. Your awareness of and connection to your surroundings will heighten as you visualize this support. And, this heightened perception sets just the right stage for reframing thoughts and relationships into a positive mode as well.
Judy Warner
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Swimming Pool Self Defense
"Ouch! That was my arm you just hit with your unconscious, wild swimming!" I looked up at the lifeguard, who gave me a slow head shake and wry smile. I smiled back. My lane partner swam on oblivious. Later, standing at one end of the pool waiting for him to pass me, I couldn't seem to move far enough into the corner. He almost hit me again as he somersaulted into his turn. It was as if I wasn't there. I was definitely not on his radar screen.
I kept on swimming, but with more awareness. My thoughts:
There are characters in my life anyway who seem to think nothing of taking up lots of space. They don't worry when they speak whether their words might hurt. They weave in and out of traffic, seemingly oblivious to other vehicles nearby. All of life seems to be there just for them; this is their lane, regardless of who else might be swimming, working, or living alongside them.
So, what should we do with these people? What I did that morning at the pool was to increase my own awareness. Self-Defense begins with me. If I know that this "partner" is oblivious of my feelings, my presence, my being, I first must keep myself from being hurt. In the lane, I was visually and physically vigilant. In life, I center myself and increase my awareness of the other person and their possible actions.
As I center myself, I am able to jump into Discovery. I can be curious and amused and interested, instead of judgmental, angry and victimized. This mind shift is the best form of inner self defense and is very powerful.
I may choose to speak to my partner. In this case, I was almost ready to get out of the pool. Centering, discovery, and the lifeguard's smile were enough. But, in life, I would probably have a conversation with my friend, my coworker, my life partner. I would let them know how their unconscious behavior is impacting me, and I'd invite them into dialogue.
The point is to know that we have choices. Start with inner self-defense: center, smile, and jump into Discovery. Then you'll know what to do next.
--Judy Ringer
I kept on swimming, but with more awareness. My thoughts:
- What a lane hog!
- Doesn't he know I'm swimming here?
- I was in this lane first; I even greeted him when he got in. He must realize I'm here.
- His unconsciousness is fascinating. Amazing.
There are characters in my life anyway who seem to think nothing of taking up lots of space. They don't worry when they speak whether their words might hurt. They weave in and out of traffic, seemingly oblivious to other vehicles nearby. All of life seems to be there just for them; this is their lane, regardless of who else might be swimming, working, or living alongside them.
So, what should we do with these people? What I did that morning at the pool was to increase my own awareness. Self-Defense begins with me. If I know that this "partner" is oblivious of my feelings, my presence, my being, I first must keep myself from being hurt. In the lane, I was visually and physically vigilant. In life, I center myself and increase my awareness of the other person and their possible actions.
As I center myself, I am able to jump into Discovery. I can be curious and amused and interested, instead of judgmental, angry and victimized. This mind shift is the best form of inner self defense and is very powerful.
I may choose to speak to my partner. In this case, I was almost ready to get out of the pool. Centering, discovery, and the lifeguard's smile were enough. But, in life, I would probably have a conversation with my friend, my coworker, my life partner. I would let them know how their unconscious behavior is impacting me, and I'd invite them into dialogue.
The point is to know that we have choices. Start with inner self-defense: center, smile, and jump into Discovery. Then you'll know what to do next.
--Judy Ringer
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Light Hearted Post
In keeping with Judy Ringer's post last month on older runners, I just had to share this article that my daughter sent me this morning on Glady Burrill, a 90-year-old woman runner preparing for her fifth Honolulu marathon.Definitely inspirational!
Judy Warner
Saturday, November 8, 2008
What a Time!
What a week, what a season, what a time!
I, too, am heartened and moved by this week’s elections…so much hope, such an opening for positive change. I’m so excited to have someone about to be President who seems to be able to seek higher ground, above party politics, and who desires dialogue and understanding. He has a challenging road ahead of him, and is going to need a lot of support.
So I’m very aware that our work is just beginning. I’m encouraged—it’s exciting to be part of an engaged population: engaged in service, in our communities and in the big picture. I think America grew up some with this election—the huge numbers of people who came out to vote, after our rather dismal turnouts in recent years, show a willingness to be involved in and accountable to the democratic process.
And I know that one of the challenges is going to be to bring people together, to find ways to include different viewpoints, different goals, different beliefs and dreams and concerns. After all, over forty percent of the electorate did not choose our new president-elect. I live in rural Western Colorado, and even though Colorado went for Obama, the county where I live voted against him 2 to 1. It’s going to be a challenge to me to keep my vision of the positive things I hope we can accomplish, and at the same time be able to listen and engage with people who feel very differently than I do. To find that balance between not speaking up and speaking up in a way that closes the door on dialogue. My years of aiki training are going to be put to the test, again.
In a song I wrote a few years ago called “Beyond the Great Divide”, one stanza was:
“On through light and darkness, the earth still turns around
The truth is we are living on common ground”
We are living on common ground, more than we sometimes realize. We share problems and solutions. I know intentions are powerful, and I hold the intention to live in a way that reveals our common ground and brings inclusivity, healing, joy and sustainable, vibrant life for my home, this lovely planet. Onward!
I, too, am heartened and moved by this week’s elections…so much hope, such an opening for positive change. I’m so excited to have someone about to be President who seems to be able to seek higher ground, above party politics, and who desires dialogue and understanding. He has a challenging road ahead of him, and is going to need a lot of support.
So I’m very aware that our work is just beginning. I’m encouraged—it’s exciting to be part of an engaged population: engaged in service, in our communities and in the big picture. I think America grew up some with this election—the huge numbers of people who came out to vote, after our rather dismal turnouts in recent years, show a willingness to be involved in and accountable to the democratic process.
And I know that one of the challenges is going to be to bring people together, to find ways to include different viewpoints, different goals, different beliefs and dreams and concerns. After all, over forty percent of the electorate did not choose our new president-elect. I live in rural Western Colorado, and even though Colorado went for Obama, the county where I live voted against him 2 to 1. It’s going to be a challenge to me to keep my vision of the positive things I hope we can accomplish, and at the same time be able to listen and engage with people who feel very differently than I do. To find that balance between not speaking up and speaking up in a way that closes the door on dialogue. My years of aiki training are going to be put to the test, again.
In a song I wrote a few years ago called “Beyond the Great Divide”, one stanza was:
“On through light and darkness, the earth still turns around
The truth is we are living on common ground”
We are living on common ground, more than we sometimes realize. We share problems and solutions. I know intentions are powerful, and I hold the intention to live in a way that reveals our common ground and brings inclusivity, healing, joy and sustainable, vibrant life for my home, this lovely planet. Onward!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Day After
Today for me was a day of tears – tears of joy – for the election of Barak Obama has meant so much to so many for so many reasons. It also was a day of relief – that the election process is over. Colin Powell said today that our election process needs argument to really work but it is also part of that process that we then come together. So, today was also a day of caring for all Americans, no matter whom they voted for.
I worked hard for Barak’s election – something new for me as I had not chosen to put my energies into an election campaign since the death of Robert Kennedy. But, I am well trained in my aiki principles and now am very ready for that coming together. As I listened to John McCain’s speech last night, I felt nothing but compassion. As I listened to Barak’s acceptance speech, his call for unity, for coming together, resonated.
A few days before the election, a 30 second video was put out by the Obama organization. I listened to that video many times today and am providing a link here. It expresses a message of hope and challenge that fits as much now as it did before election day for it now is a message to all of us here in the U.S. to unite in common purpose on the path ahead. Let’s hope that we all can move forward together in this amazing world of possibilities.
Judy Warner
I worked hard for Barak’s election – something new for me as I had not chosen to put my energies into an election campaign since the death of Robert Kennedy. But, I am well trained in my aiki principles and now am very ready for that coming together. As I listened to John McCain’s speech last night, I felt nothing but compassion. As I listened to Barak’s acceptance speech, his call for unity, for coming together, resonated.
A few days before the election, a 30 second video was put out by the Obama organization. I listened to that video many times today and am providing a link here. It expresses a message of hope and challenge that fits as much now as it did before election day for it now is a message to all of us here in the U.S. to unite in common purpose on the path ahead. Let’s hope that we all can move forward together in this amazing world of possibilities.
Judy Warner
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