How to Let Go: Taming the Inner Critic

Recently, I had the opportunity to face my inner critic yet again when I made an offhand remark to a friend and later wished I'd held my tongue. A colleague told me last week that he'd made a blunder that was keeping him up nights. While it sounded like a minor miscue to me, it was interrupting his sleep and sapping his usually upbeat energy.

How Do We Let Go?
It's a question that comes up all the time in my workshops. Most conflict is with ourselves, I think. It may be generated by something that happens on the outside, but eventually I have to go inside and consider what to do about it. How do I handle this situation and manage myself in the process?

Sometimes I reengage, speak up, explain my remark, or offer an apology. Yet even when I've remedied the situation, I can mentally replay the incident ad infinitum. Especially if the outcome isn't what I'd hoped for, it can take a long time to let go of it.

Because I have so much experience with the "How do I let go?" question, I've explored a lot of strategies, and many of them do help. They at least distract me for a time, and at best they turn those horrible moments into Ki Moments: moments when I am fully aware of my life force and my ability to influence my inner and outer environment.

Ways to Tame the Inner Critic
Center. Stop, breathe, and direct your awareness towards the center of your body, about two inches below your navel. As you think about the situation from center, it will change.

Pace. Time, I've noticed, does heal. The charge lessens. Each day, the inner critic's voice is softer. Gradually, I let it go.
Accept. As you're probably aware, I practice Aikido, a martial art in which we practice aligning with the attacker and redirecting the attack energy. So I ask myself, in life's conflicts, where I'm resisting this alignment. When I'm angry with myself, it's usually because I did something that's "not me." I resist this version of myself. Yet ... I did do it. Accepting and integrating my action as part of me helps. I recognize that I am capable of it. Then I forgive myself and let it go.

We can slay dragons, dance tangos, build businesses, and get straight A's, but we struggle to relax, let go, let fly. I'm learning to let go more each day. Like whistling, it takes practice.

You will find a longer article on this topic on my Web site. Please visit when you have a chance!

Good ki!

Judy Ringer