Just center, that's all you have to do

I teach this stuff. I'm supposed to know. Yet I keep being reminded of how easy it is to forget. As you know if you read my e-newsletter, Ki Moments, I swim most mornings at our local indoor pool. There's a saying in Aikido that goes: "There are many lessons on the mat." Well, there are also many lessons in the pool.

My most recent lesson came Friday as I was blissfully gliding up and back in my lane, all alone (how lovely), enjoying the serenity of my early morning swim. I see someone at the end of the pool getting into my lane. He joins me but is going way too slow for the lane we're in, and he seems oblivious to me or to the idea of sharing space. It doesn't take long before I stop enjoying my swim and start thinking about what I can say to him or do to make it obvious he's cramping my style and should move to a different lane.

Suddenly it comes to me: "Now would be a good time to center." This is my latest way of reminding myself to choose the centered state. And I do. I just center. I don't think about what centering will help me do or say. I just center. And everything changes.

Why am I still surprised at the magic of this seemingly simple act? Now I don't need to do anything. Now I'm okay. I was almost finished anyway. Yet, suddenly, a swimmer in another lane leaves, her lane opens up, I move over, and now I have a new lane to myself again. Hmmmm ..... But it's not just that. It's that I feel different. Bigger. The problem went away, even before the new lane beckoned. I have had this feeling many times before, this new consciousness, the "bigger than the problem" awareness. And yet it's always new.

In a few minutes, I take a short sit in the hot tub before heading to the locker room. Sitting in the hot water, I see the young man who had been in my original lane leaving. He was swimming all of ten minutes, just long enough to teach me once again about the power of center.

Many lessons on the mat, in the pool, at work, in the classroom, the board room, and the kitchen. Just center, that's all you have to do!

Good ki!
Judy Ringer

We're taking our lives in our hands....

Sixteen years ago I wrote a song at a time of a large cultural and political shift in the United States. This last week I was feeling like THIS is the time the song is about…a time to joyfully join up with others and work to make things better.

Onward!

TAKING OUR LIVES IN OUR HANDS

Rise up, it’s a new day
Good morning, sister
Good morning, brother
There’s so much to do
And the first thing is to listen
To be quiet and to speak the truth

We’re taking our lives in our hands
I am in yours, you are in mine
And we’re taking our lives in our hands
The future will grow from the seeds that we sow today

Stand up, it’s our moment
We are the bridge now, reaching tomorrow
That touches yesterday
And a question we must ask now:
Is this as true for my grandchildren’s children as it is today?

We’re taking our lives in our hands
I am in yours, you are in mine
And we’re taking our lives in our hands
The future will grow from the seeds that we sow today

Life…so incredibly strong yet incredibly fragile
Sings through our hearts and the touch of our hands
In the cries of the children and the eyes of the old ones
In the ancient dark forests and the flight of a hawk
In the grace of the earth and the gift of our minds
It’s the thread that weaves and dances and invisibly binds

We’re taking our lives in our hands
I am in yours, you are in mine
And we’re taking our lives in our hands
The future will grow from the seeds that we sow today

Gently Down the Stream

Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream,
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Life is but a dream.

I don't know why, but I woke up this morning singing this little childhood round. As I wondered why I might be singing "Row, row, row your boat" over and over again in my head, I looked at the words, and they held new meaning.

The first thing I noticed was "life is but a dream." I recall a quotation from The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz, who writes: "The dream you are living is your creation. It is your perception of reality that you can change at any time. You have the power to create hell, and you have the power to create heaven."

This feels true to me. My view of the events in my life changes by the way I think about them. Is this new development a setback or a gift? Is this person really an adversary or an invitation to look with different eyes? Do I invent my life as I go along, dreaming up each moment with my thoughts, words and actions? It seems so.

Which is why I will pay more attention to how I row my boat. I could be more gentle with my self and my fellow travelers, also rowing as best they can.

As we begin this new year, with new hope in our hearts, may we all row gently and powerfully down life's stream.

Good ki!
Judy Ringer

Smiles of joy

An bit of an 'add-on' extension to Judy’s ‘happy’ dialogue in the previous post.

For a long time, I have been aware that as soon as I start teaching an aikido class, I feel joy rising within me. Whatever may have happened during the day, or even on my way to the mat, once I have lead the class in a few minutes of misogi breathing and begun our ki exercises, I feel a bit of a twinkle in my eye and I can’t help but smile a bit.

Over the past few months, I have had a couple of opportunities where my photo has been snapped while I was in the midst of an aikido throw. The photos all capture a smile (and I am not known for taking great photos). I looked at those photos and see joy. That fact has lead me in my decision-making within our dojo and in choices over my entire life. Basically, I say to myself, if something consistently puts me in a such an unabashed state of joy, then it is good for me and everyone else in my life. From there I can follow a train of thought into what creates that deep seated joy and how can I create more in my life. For me, the answer to that question is easy. It is service.

I would like to suggest to all our readers that you note where you are joyful in life, and why, and give more attention in 2009 to those areas.

Judy Warner

"I Feel Great!"

I've an increasing interest in Appreciative Inquiry (AI), which you know if you follow our Journey to Center Blog.

Lately, I've been focusing on being more appreciative in my everyday conversations and stating what is good in life rather than focusing on what isn't. It takes practice. For example, how often do you respond, "I feel great!" when someone casually asks "How are you?"

Not many people walk about in life, like my friend Arthur, responding to the question "How are you?" by saying: "Too blessed to complain!" and meaning it.

When you listen to the conversations that occur around you, what do you notice?

For the most part, I hear people talking about problems. The focus is usually about what's wrong - with family, friends, coworkers, and ourselves. It's fashionable to be "working on" some aspect of our mental or physical state, and we're used to telling people about it (I am anyway).

But why is it so easy to talk about what's wrong and more difficult to talk about what is right in our lives, work and families? Perhaps there is an underlying belief, as Martin Seligman puts it in his book "Authentic Happiness," that positive human emotion is somehow inauthentic; that happy people aren't as smart as the rest of us; or maybe we just don't want to stand out from the crowd.

Renowned M.D. and clown, Patch Adams, has said, "The most revolutionary act one can commit in our world is to be publicly happy." I have to agree. It takes a bit of courage to say, "I feel great today. I feel blessed," and mean it.

We'd love to hear any examples you have of being publicly happy and any ways to increase awareness of all there is to appreciate in life.

In the meantime, I'll sing a minute of "Put on a Happy Face." Click here to listen!

Good ki!
Judy Ringer

Reality?

Last weekend I was in San Francisco and took a ten mile run along the bay. It was a beautiful sunny day with temperatures in the 50s. There were hundreds of tourists visiting Fisherman’s Wharf and plenty of residents out walking dogs, playing soccer and just having a good time. I remember thinking a number of times along the way – it’s January and these people are out on the beach playing. This weekend I am back in my home. There was six inches of snow last night. The woods are beautiful with the new fallen snow but it is well below 50 degrees. My run, if it happens, will be on a treadmill at a local health club.

Two weekends, two realities. A reminder of how different reality can be for different at any point in time. When we think we understand, and that we have all the answers, remember that each of us is living in our own reality. Yes, there are commonalities that stretch across not only state but international borders. But, at the same time, we can never assume that we fully understand another’s situation. It is good to imagine what it would be like to be ‘in their shoes,’ but that caution when it comes to communicating to never use ‘you’ in describing feelings and emotions applies fully. Speak from your own experience, without interpreting someone’s situation by telling them how they feel – their reality may be different from yours!
Judy Warner

Positive Psychology and AI

I've been thinking more and more about the Appreciative Inquiry (AI) course I took last month. It's had a large impact on me, probably because it fits with my already established ways of thinking:

• One: We create the world we live in moment to moment.
• Two: If this premise is true (and I think it is), then let's spend our ki creating a positive world by noticing what is good.
• Three: There is a lot of good to notice.

I picked up a book at the library last week by Martin Seligman, a noted writer on Positive Psychology, called Authentic Happiness. He writes clearly about the research behind the benefits of focusing on what's good -- our positive emotions, strengths and virtues -- instead of what is wrong.

I have more to write on this topic and will in coming posts. I'd also love to know your thoughts on it. Do you tend to focus on what's good, noticing what you appreciate about a person, an accomplishment, about life, before you look for what you'd change? Does it come naturally? If not, how do you remind yourself?

In the meantime, I continue to experiment by appreciating all that I can in my life and by putting positive emotion into the world through my writing, singing, teaching and relationships. My latest endeavor is currently in the recording studio, a CD called Simple Gifts: Making the Most of Life's Ki Moments, comprising my favorite Ki Moments stories (from my email newsletter) along with songs like this little clip from "Simple Gifts."

There's still some polishing to do, which is great, because it's a lot of fun! I'll keep you posted.

Have a great and positive moment!

Judy Ringer

New Year's Resolutions

Do you make New Year's Resolutions? I've been thinking about making resolutions that will free up energy. For example, I resolve to worry less. To be committed, active, and to follow my dreams, but not to worry about them. This one resolution will free up a lot of mental and physical energy for me, and a lot of time.

What about you? What are you hoping for in 2009? As you make your resolutions, consider what might free up your ki.

Imagine yourself at the end of 2009 free of the tension that surrounds the difficult relationships in your life. What if twelve months from now you were free of both the internal and external struggles that keep you up at night or limit you in any other way. What would it take to resolve the inner and outer conflicts in your life?

Start now, in this moment. Imagine the freedom. Feel your ki flowing in areas where you currently feel stuck. Believe it is possible. Then begin to move in that direction. Don't Wait.

Happy New Year from the AikiGals!