Loving Kindness

During a recent Mind/Body class in our dojo, one of our instructors taught a moving meditation on Loving Kindness.

• May I be filled with loving kindness.
• May I be filled with wellness.
• May I be filled with peace and ease.
• May I be filled with happiness.

For a movement to accompany this meditation, you could begin facing east and extend your arms to the east while speaking the first sentence, then turn clockwise and repeat the movement while speaking the second sentence, then continuing on in a circular direction for the third and fourth sentence.

You can repeat the circle with wishes for other people. Traditionally, the practice begins with the meditator cultivating loving kindness towards themselves, then their loved ones, friends, teachers, strangers, enemies, and finally towards all sentient beings.

The idea of Loving Kindness as a meditation has its origins as a Buddhist metta meditation. Wikippedia offers the following additional information on it:

Buddhists believe that those who cultivate mettā will be at ease because they see no need to harbour ill will or hostility. Buddhist teachers may even recommend meditation on mettā as an antidote to insomnia and nightmares. It is generally felt that those around a mettā-full person will feel more comfortable and happy too. Radiating mettā is thought to contribute to a world of love, peace and happiness.

Mettā meditation is considered a good way to calm down a distraught mind by people who consider it to be an antidote to anger. According to them, someone who has cultivated mettā will not be easily angered and can quickly subdue anger that arises, being more caring, more loving, and more likely to love unconditionally.

Recent neurological studies have shown that compassion meditation can increase one's capabilities for empathy by changing activity in brain areas such as the temporal parietal juncture and the insula and increase the subject's ability to understand the mental and emotional states of others as well as deal more effectively with external stressors.

Judy Warner

Another Stress Related Post

Once again the Harvard Business Publishing blog has caught my eye. This time they are addressing the issue of stressful behaviors among colleagues due to the current economic conditions. I will give you the link to their blog at the end of this post.

What caught my eye was a sentence in their blog: The trick is to tap into your best, not your worst, self. This concept ties in beautifully with Tom Crum's second breath in his Three Deep Breaths tool - the Possibility Breath. In this breath, Tom speaks to the concept of having the best possible version of yourself show up in any situation - the me I want to be. What this means is visualizing yourself in any given role - mother, husband, manager, neighbor - and how you would like to present yourself in the best possible scenario. What qualities would you possess? What values would motivate your actions?

I have found this to be the most intriguing and most challenging exercise. Being simply human, I have all those usual dysfunctional knee jerk responses patterned into my life. But, having trained in self-awareness disciplines for so many years, if I yield to those reactive patterns, I immediately notice and experience a sense of dissatisfaction. For instance, I find it hard to revel in a victim stance anymore. Instead, I am more willing to instead pose the question to myself, What would it look like if I could be the exemplary leader, mother, friend, etc. in this situation? These days I at least want to give it my best shot.

Just for a refresher, here are Tom's Three Deep Breaths:

• Centering Breath: Breathe in the present moment, with balance and energy
• The Possibility Breath: Breathe in purpose, with power and presence
• The Discovery Breath: Breathe in the mystery, let go of judgment

Hope you have a great day. Here is the link for that Harvard Publishing blog.

Judy Warner

Be Yourself

"Always be a first-rate version of yourself,
instead of a second-rate version of somebody else."
Judy Garland

Dancing in Antwerp

Look at this window: it is nothing but a hole in the wall, but because of it the whole room is full of light. Being full of light it becomes an influence by which others are secretly transformed.

-– Chuang Tsu

It seems to have been a week of inspiring videos from YouTube. I received this one last night from a good friend. Amazing the power of a few people to transform an environment.

--Judy Ringer

In Case you've Missed....Susan Boyle

In case you have been somewhere without TV or internet for the past few days, please do listen to this YouTube clip. It is quite wonderful at so many levels. I have received copies of this through so many of the networks I am in that I would think it is safe to say that Susan has touched the hearts of many, many people cross generations and interests.

Judy Warner

A Little Bit of Twitter on O Sensei

I have been learning the ins and outs of Twitter the past few weeks. While the jury is still out, I have some discovered that I do like some aspects of this communication vehicle. I can't say that I feel compelled to report my daily wanderings, or have a lot of interest in following most others in great detail. But, I have discovered at least one benefit.

The Midwest Aikido Center is 'twittering' and most of their 'tweets' are quotes from the founder of Aikido, Morihei Ueshiba, or more simply, O Sensei. So, perhaps once or twice a day, my cell phone will chirp and a message appears with some words from O Sensei. It often strikes just the right note in my day. In fact, I am contemplating using Twitter as a vehicle for offering Centering Moments for people. It will probably take me a few more weeks to more fully develop this plan and I promise to keep you posted.

In the meantime, here is a sampling of some of the wonderful quotes that have come my way from the Midwest Aikido group:

• You should be: hard as a diamond, flexible as a willow, smooth-flowing like water, or as empty as space. M. Ueshiba
  
  
• Be grateful for hardship, setbacks and bad people. Dealing with obstacles is an essential part of training. M.Ueshiba
  
  
• If your opponent strikes with fire, counter with water, becoming completely fluid and free-flowing. M. Ueshiba
  
  
• The totally awakened warrior can freely utilize all elements contained in heaven and earth. M. Ueshiba
  
  
• To injure an opponent is to injure yourself. To control aggression without inflicting injury is Aikido. M. Ueshiba
  

• Cast off limiting thoughts and return to true emptiness...This is the secret of the Way of a Warrior. M. Ueshiba
  
  
  Judy Warner
  

Stress Reactions

The following email on stress arrived in my in-box this morning from Harvard Business Publishing:

We've been told over and over again about the harmful effects of stress, but how can we handle stress if its source doesn't go away? Figure out what your stress reaction is. If you respond to stress by doing something productive — like cleaning your house or checking in more frequently with your team — consider yourself lucky. In the more likely case that your stress reaction is unhealthy, take notice. Some common reactions to stress are micromanaging, making heavy-handed suggestions, and second-guessing decisions. If you find yourself doing these things, pause and take a breath. Paying careful attention to your behavior can help you stop the reaction before it has harmful effects.

It is a lead-in to a delightful article by Peter Bregman, author of Point B: A Short Guide To Leading a Big Change, on developing awareness of our stress reactions. Here is Peter's definition of a stress reaction and a brief comment by him to whet your appetite for reading his entire article. It will give you some food for thought for your day!

A Stress Reaction can be a useful tool to maintain your focus and preserve your ability to move through times of uncertainty. A sense of control is invaluable when we lack real control.

Of course it would be ideal if we all had Stress Reactions that drove us to eat normal portions of healthy food every few hours, exercise daily, sleep eight hours a night, meditate morning and evening, and connect deeply and authentically with our friends, colleagues, and loved ones. But some Stress Reactions are destructive. They increase our stress rather than reduce it.

Peter gives some great example of functional and dysfunctional reactions. I have started a list of my own. How about you?

Judy Warner

Thank You, Dr. King

On April 4, 1968, Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated in Memphis, and the world lost a powerful voice for non-violent change. A year earlier, on April 4, 1967, King gave a speech which has come to be known as “Beyond Vietnam—A Time to Break Silence”. I find myself listening to it at least once a year, always learning something and being stretched to think deeply and differently about challenges and solutions for the issues facing us today. It’s an important speech not only for it’s historical value, but for it’s relevance today…great words about human nature, war, racism, the United States, the world and more. His voice is still strong and clear today.

Here are a couple of excerpts:

“Here is the true meaning and value of compassion and nonviolence, when it helps us to see the enemy's point of view, to hear his questions, to know his assessment of ourselves. For from his view we may indeed see the basic weaknesses of our own condition, and if we are mature, we may learn and grow and profit from the wisdom of the brothers who are called the opposition….

“…we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin...we must rapidly begin the shift from a thing-oriented society to a person-oriented society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights, are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, extreme materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered.
“A true revolution of values will soon cause us to question the fairness and justice of many of our past and present policies. On the one hand, we are called to play the Good Samaritan on life's roadside, but that will be only an initial act. One day we must come to see that the whole Jericho Road must be transformed so that men and women will not be constantly beaten and robbed as they make their journey on life's highway. True compassion is more than flinging a coin to a beggar. It comes to see that an edifice which produces beggars needs restructuring.”

The whole speech is available to read and listen to at:
http://www.americanrhetoric.com/speeches/mlkatimetobreaksilence.htm

Time is My Friend

A long time ago, a friend gave me a bit of advice in the form of this aphorism:

TIME IS MY FRIEND

TIME IS MY ALLY

I HAVE ALL THE TIME I NEED FOR EVERYTHING I WANT TO DO.

This past week, it's been a challenge to remember that time is plastic. It expands and contracts with my attention. I can only be present to this moment. Much as I'd like to control the future or change the past, it is this moment that counts. When I am present to this moment, it expands. And I relax.

There is only this moment. Now.

Good ki,

Judy Ringer