Inner Freedom

"We hold these truths to be self-evident."
--Thomas Jefferson

Every July 4, we celebrate Independence Day in the U.S., commemorate our struggle to free ourselves from tyranny, and celebrate victory in the quest for Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. We remember the freedoms we normally take for granted and we appreciate our responsibility to honor, maintain, and clarify those freedoms every day.

Mostly these freedoms are associated with rights - the right to free speech, for example, or to worship freely, assemble peaceably, petition the government, and to due process of law.

I gratefully acknowledge these privileges and freedoms and, frankly, would do well to recognize them more often. And every July–every day actually–I think about other freedoms perhaps not mentioned in the Bill of Rights, but freedoms nonetheless; freedoms I don't actually practice as much as I might.

I'm thinking of inner freedoms, quality of life options that have less to do with restraints by others and more to do with how I limit myself. These include but are (definitely) not confined to the freedom ...

To choose my attitude, even when I have no choice over the circumstances
To decide not to take things personally
To talk things out in difficult situations instead of holding back
To laugh when everything around me seems to be falling apart
To breathe
To smile
To center
To be curious
To see the good in people
To appreciate and be present in this moment
To live life purposefully and intentionally
To notice that I am, in fact, freer than I think I am to create meaning in my life

The United States Declaration of Independence is an amazing document.

What if we could use it as a template to create an inner declaration that frees us from self-imposed tyrannies, such as prejudice, arrogance, blame, and justification? A personal set of self-evident truths that protect us from our self-imposed limits–the shackles that cause us to struggle so and bring stress to those we love and work with everyday?

Morihei Ueshiba, the founder of aikido, said aikido is the art of peace, a way to practice freedom through compassion, wisdom, and fearlessness. If we use this definition, how free are you? And what holds you back?

Stop a moment. Breathe, center, smile, and return to freedom, the freedom that is always at your disposal and that only you can restrict.

--Judy Ringer

Distinguishing Center

For over twenty years, I’ve worked with Tom Crum (Magic of Conflict, Three Deep Breaths) as he has taught the art of centering to thousands of people. I look upon centering as a core skill for living life to its fullest. So, it was a real delight to have one of my aikido students share a book with me that totally related to the work I have been so involved with.

The book is Zen Body Being by Peter Ralston. Peter is a martial artist who had developed his own model for mind/body coordination based upon his extensive years of training in varied arts. The book offers many ideas that I could write upon (and am sure I will in the coming weeks). However it is always good to begin with basics.

Peter offers “Five Principles for an Effortlessly Effective Body:”

• Relaxing
• Feeling the Whole Body
• Moving from the Center
• Being Grounded
• Being Calm

In the models of Tom Crum, these five principles result in what we call ‘center.’ Tom uses his Three Deep Breaths tool, particularly the Centering Breath, to heighten our awareness of these principles. As we breathe deeply from our center, we notice that our mind and body begin to relax. We become aware of all the places where our mind and body are holding tension. We feel more grounded or in touch with the earth and a feeling a calmness prevails within us. If we wish to physically move, we discover that movement most naturally begins from our center.

Peter emphasizes possessing this mind/body state to achieve results with what my Aikido Sensei calls ‘Minimum Effort, Maximum Effect’ and Tom Crum often says is “Minimum Effort, Maximum Joy.” All three acknowledge the potential power of this mind/body state and the importance of that state is to quality of life.

I trust as this blog continues that Judy R., Ellen and myself will continue to be able to offer you hints and stories that inspire you to strive for a centered life.

Judy Warner

Improving Your Visibility

On Thursday, I travel to St. Paul, Minnesota for a workshop by Wendy Palmer. Wendy is a sixth degree black belt in aikido and teaches aikido in Sausalito, California. She's written many books using aikido principles to help people become more conscious, confident, and compassionate. She describes her theme for this year as Visibility -- allowing ourselves to be seen. What a concept!

In a recent newsletter, Wendy wrote, "Our ability to influence situations and direct our intention is a function of presence and focus. Presence is the embodied feeling of aliveness that radiates out into the world ... The capacity to maintain the extension of one's field of presence is affected by self-consciousness or concern about visibility."

This quotation makes me think about how much energy I sometimes put into hiding my true self, my light. Tom Crum has said that we spend so much time worrying about the "lampshade," when it's really the light that people want to see. When that light shines brightly, who cares about the lampshade?

In anticipation of this weekend's workshop, I'm already beginning to notice the times I disclaim myself, contract my ki, or otherwise hide behind walls of fear or self-judgment. My inner critic -- the one that says "nope, not good enough" -- is ever present.

How visible are you? Notice how you spend your valuable ki -- shining or hiding? Probably both. Can you choose to extend and shine, when you want to hide? What might happen?

I'll follow up next week with more on my experience in St. Paul. In the meantime, you can visit Wendy's website below. Good ki!

Judy Ringer

Wendy Palmer's website is: http://consciousembodiment.com/

Cooling My Hot Buttons

I needed to stop and breathe about a thousand times yesterday what with customer service and tech glitches – my favorite hot buttons. It all began when I took my car in to be serviced first thing in the morning and learned the service rep had forgotten I needed a ride home. I had scheduled myself tightly, had all my ducks in a row (I thought), and did not allow for a thirty minute delay, which is what the service rep's forgetfulness cost me. Ach!

When I finally got home, I learned that the service provider for my email newsletter had experienced a technical glitch that deleted some long-time subscribers. Ach! Ach!

I know these two hot buttons intimately. Whenever I don't receive the service I think I should or when technology doesn't work the way I think it's supposed to, I get hooked. You might think I'd learn to be on the alert, center myself really fast, and not take the bait. But no. I guess that's why they call them hot buttons. Face red, muscles tight, arms flying into the air, blind to what is possible. It's good to know you're human.

The martial arts offer an excellent arena to practice being under attack. Specifically, aikido teaches us to manage an attack by managing ourselves. Instead of resisting the attacker, we center, connect with the attacker, and redirect the attack energy toward a positive outcome.

Yesterday, it seemed, the attackers were coming from all directions.

You'll be happy to know I found my way back to center. It took a bit of time and a few other self-management skills, like perspective taking (what else was going on for the auto service rep that morning?), appreciating the moment (how nice to have thirty minutes to read while waiting for my ride – I'm glad I thought to bring along that book), self-awareness (deciding not to sweat the small stuff), and gratitude (for the bigger stuff, like the health and well being of myself and those I love).

It's not what happens to us that determines who we are, it's what we do with what happens to us. Maybe next time I'll remember sooner!

Judy Ringer

The Pause

"In between stimulus and response, there is a pause, and in that pause we have the opportunity to make a different choice."
~ Victor Frankl

Reading Judy Warner's 3/25 blog post, I am inspired. Although I teach the aikido concept of centering, her story helps me realize how much more I could practice and improve. I am centering now as I write. I centered while taking a drink of water earlier today, and I look forward to finding more places to catch myself. What a great, fun, low-pressure approach to practice.

I am reminded of another centering practice that might seem counterintuitive at first but is one I've used over and over again to good effect.

Think of a difficult person in your life, someone whose presence causes you to become uncentered. With a small mental shift you can remake this person into a centering practice. The same procedure can apply to uncentering events.

Some years ago, a friend and I had a falling out, and every time I saw her I became uncentered, fearful, and awkward. I wanted to walk the other way. We were thrown together a lot, as it happens, and one day I decided to see how long I could remain centered in her presence. I managed to stay centered for about five seconds. The next time I saw her, I was able to remain centered longer. This process continued until I began to look forward to seeing her so that I could test myself. I had turned my difficult person into a centering practice.

She and I have become good friends again since that time, and we can laugh about this story (she knows). I have no doubt that this centering process played a part in helping that to happen.

What triggers your hot buttons? Change these people and events into centering triggers instead. Pause, center, and practice a different choice.

Judy Ringer

The Hot Tub

I swim most mornings at our community pool and then, if there’s time, reward myself with a soak in the hot tub. It’s a great tub with room for four or five people, the water is really hot, and you can turn the bubbles on or off. My favorite soak is when I’m alone and the water is still. I sit quietly and enjoy the serenity before my day begins.

One recent morning my hot tub equanimity was interrupted when two people got in, turned on the bubbles, and began a loud, agitated conversation.

I thought, “Why don’t they just enjoy the hot tub -- the soothing hot water, the relaxation? They’re missing this extraordinary moment.” The noisy conversation took them (and me) away from the opportunity to be in the here and now.

Thinking about it later, I realized I do the same thing. I carry on a continual internal conversation that’s often agitated and loud. “Do this, don’t do that ... That was dumb! ... Hurry up, you’ve got to get to that meeting ... Why did you say THAT?!”

So I’ve started a new practice. When I notice these voices I stop and find my center -- the quiet, soothing place I go to in the hot tub -- and I try to remember that it's always with me. Then I suggest to myself that I sink in and enjoy it.

Don’t wait for the hot tub. Find your center now and sink in.

Judy Ringer